Confessions of a 19-year-old Abercrombie shopper

I am almost 20 years old, and for nearly a decade I have been shopping at Abercrombie & Fitch and its child stores. Despite all of the negative publicity surrounding the company, I still shop at the place every so often when I go to the mall. Call me crazy, but I like the clothing they sell.

As a college student, I’m usually the oldest person in the store, minus the salespeople and preteen girls’ parents. I get looks when I go inside. The preteens scoff at me as though I should be off buying granny panties at Macy’s instead. The parents give me melancholy gazes as if to ask, “Why are you still shopping in this hell hole? Get out while you still can.” And the salespeople just look downright confused why I don’t have better fashion taste for my age.

But regardless of what people may think, I still shop there. I no longer purchase the clothes for the prestige behind the moose as I did when I was 12; I go there for the jeans. Abercrombie and Hollister sell some of the best pairs of jeans that I own, hands down.

I require a special kind of jeans for my size. At 5’5″ with an athletic build, I have a pretty generic body size. Nevertheless, I also have a swimmer’s body reminiscent of Michael Phelps – a long torso and proportionately shorter legs. So while I may be 5’5″, my inseam is about as long as someone who is 5’1″ or 5’2″. This means I can’t buy just any pair of jeans; I need jeans labeled SHORT in big letters, or else the bottom of my pants will bunch awkwardly at the ankle.

You’d think that most brands would take into consideration that the average woman doesn’t fit a single mold for body shape or size. I’ve found that this isn’t quite so true. Even though brands claim to cater to every woman, they usually categorize their “diversification” as plus size and non-plus size. But there are many other factors in a woman’s body than simply being above or below a size 12, like leg length. If you don’t wear a 32″ inseam on your jeans, it’s nearly impossible to find pants that will fit you. For girls that are tall or for people like me with short legs, jeans just don’t fit the right way.

Hypothetically, yes, I could buy jeans that are too long and get them professionally hemmed. But why would I go to all that trouble and waste my money when stores like Abercrombie, Hollister, and American Eagle offer short jeans? I don’t mind spending $40 on overpriced jeans at these chains because, honestly, they’re one of the few out there that recognize how even jeans can’t only be categorized into the single factor of waist size.

I think it’s ridiculous that Abercrombie is trying to cultivate a certain “image” by refusing to sell pants over size 10, but that’s their prerogative as a company. In their defense, at least they try to diversify the sizes of the clothing that they do sell. Whenever I go to their stores, they always carry a handful of short jeans for me to try on. The salespeople are always very pleasant in helping me find my size, and never once have they had to go into the back room to look for what I want. When Abercrombie sells short jeans, they actually mean short, not like Forever 21, which tries to sell me ankle jeans instead, or Urban Outfitters, which claims to have jeans of many lengths but never seems to have mine.

Obviously not all stores can afford to carry an abundance of sizes of jeans the way Abercrombie does. I get that. But until other places can offer me cheap, quality jeans for a lower price, I am going to keep shopping at Abercrombie, not because I actually like the place but because their jeans are one of the few out there that fit me.

In the future, I hope that brands will continue to recognize the diversity of body sizes in women. When I first started shopping on my own in middle school, I remember having to put up with the too-long jeans; now, stores are truly beginning to expand their lines to fit a variety of women. Finding clothing that fits you is one of the best feelings you get when you go shopping (and it certainly offsets the pain of putting a hole in your wallet during checkout!). I’m looking forward to seeing more of the big-name stores carrying a greater assortment of clothing sizes for women.

My mom’s coming out

Today, my mom declared to the internet that she is “out of the closet.” For months, she shared her secret among only some family members and close friends. Self-conscious and worried of what others might think of her, she kept a low profile, acting as though January through May had been any other period in her life. But only until this afternoon did she decide to tell the world who she truly was.

My mom is going to be a yoga instructor.

The revelation is nothing new to me; she has been saying for years that she wants to return to school and learn how to teach yoga. But only last year did she decide to take a leap of faith and go to yoga teacher training school. It was a big decision for her. If you know my mom, she’s not the person to make any decision without deliberating about the pros and cons for literally years at a time.

Despite the significance of her decision, my mom kept her whereabouts a secret. She never outwardly lied to people about it, but if anyone asked how she was, she never brought up yoga school. When I asked her why she didn’t mention it often, she told me that she was ashamed of what others might think of her. She didn’t want anyone to judge her for not being good enough at yoga to teach. I responded that her assumptions were ridiculous. My mom has been doing yoga close to daily for years, and she’s much more qualified to teach than the fitness guru who instructs the P90X yoga video that I do. For a middle-aged woman, she displays incredible flexibility and strength from doing yoga as a sole method of fitness. I’ve been playing sports my entire life, and even I can’t manage a handstand or half of the balance positions she performs!

But my mom’s doubts did not go to rest. Since January, she has been voicing her concerns to me about yoga school. During my spring break, where we spent a week together under the sun in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, she expressed the difficulties that arose with returning to school.

“How do you study?” she asked me as she poured over her textbook in anguish.

“What do you mean, how do I study?” I replied with a laugh. “I’m your kid who’s in college. You should be giving me advice on how to study, not the other way around.”

As yoga school went further underway, my mom began to fall behind in her studies, causing her question whether she was cut out to do all of this. Her biggest burden, she informed me, was keeping up with her blog, a required assignment in class.

“I just don’t have anything to write about,” she complained. “I’m not a good writer like you are.”

Bluntly, I told her to stop pitying herself and just write. Get out a pen and blank sheet of paper, and write something, I said. Don’t think about what you’re saying. Just let the words flow onto the paper and guide you somewhere. It doesn’t matter if what you have is any good; it’s something, and it’s a start.

My mom begrudgingly did as I said. I think it worked because a month later, she wrote one of the most beautiful blog posts I have ever read. “Coming Out of the Closet” is the story of learning to accept her flaws and rising about her insecurities. I was completely blown away by my mom’s heartfelt writing. For most of my life, I’ve been the one telling her stories, but now, being able to hear hers has given me a whole new perspective on my mom.

At some points in her yoga school journey, I doubted my mom’s ability to overcome her challenges. I feared that they might overwhelm her to the point where she did not come to a state of inner peace with herself. But “Coming Out of the Closet” shows that she has done more than just found that peace; she has vowed to love herself unconditionally. I could not be happier for her. My mom has worked so hard in the past year, rising above the difficulties following her father’s death in September, caring for her widowed mother, and returning to work part-time. I am so proud to call her my mom. No one is as hard-working, dedicated, and loving as she is.

If you get a chance today, please read “Coming Out of the Closet” on my mom’s blog Namaste I L Y, and leave her a comment! For not having been to school for years, she has an excellent way with words. I think I got some of my creativity from her 🙂 I’m glad she’s finally back to blogging after a few months, and I can’t wait to read more of what’s on her heart.

Image via We Heart It