One of the most common questions I receive, as a non-white person, is about my ethnic background. For the record, I am 100% Chinese. To my friends out there, if I told you I was Hawaiian, Filipino, half Mexican, or anything else, it was probably a joke. Sorry to disappoint.
However, please be aware that just because I am 100% Chinese does not mean I am a Communist, nor do I speak Mandarin/Cantonese or have any relation to Jackie Chan. Like nearly 4 million people in the U.S., I am a Chinese American. Yes, thank you for asking! Such people exist! There are actually, seriously Chinese people who were born in the United States and possess American birth certificates and passports. Shocking, I know. Just like there are people whose ancestors came from Germany and now their descendants live in America. They are called German Americans, or more broadly speaking, Caucasian. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone in America is white, black, or Hispanic.
Being a Chinese American never truly resonated with me until I moved from California to New York City, the most diverse city in the fifty states. You would think diversity = people understanding my struggle with race and identity. In fact, I’ve found the opposite. Since arriving in New York, I have been consistently posed with a series of questions on my ethnicity, which I have conveniently answered below for the greater benefit:
Where are you from?
California.No, where are you really from?
Sacramento, California.Okay, I mean where is your family from?
Sacramento, California and the San Francisco Bay Area.NO NOT THAT. WHERE DID YOUR ANCESTORS DWELL? LADY DO YOU NOT SPEAK ENGLISH?
I’m not touchy about my ethnic background. In fact, I’m proud to be Chinese and extraordinarily humbled by my ancestors’ brave decision to move to a foreign country for a better life. I love to share my family history, but there is a polite way to go about inquiring. I prefer the question as, “What is your ethnic background?”
No, not “Where are you from?” (that’s presumptuous to assume I’m “from” somewhere else outside the U.S.), “Where are your parents from?” (also presumptuous since Chinese have been in the U.S. since the 1800s), or “What kind of Asian are you?” (poorly phrased). “What is your ethnic background?” will do.
Other people may tell you they prefer the question phrased a different way. But I like this way the best. Because to me, my ethnicity is a background, not a foreground. It’s an incidental part of my character. I am of Asian descent, visible by my physical features, but I am wholly a person of my own, separate of any gender and racial stereotypes you may have heard. Sure, I inform many of my decisions based on my family’s distinct cultural identity, yet in the end, I am just me — a normal, breathing human being. I’m not Asian, Chinese, athletic, smart, stupid, obnoxious, weird, or any other social construct humans created overtime as means of identification. In the end, I’m Alex, and that’s exactly the person I want others to see.
Reference: Do not ask me any of following questions or face imminent death by chopsticks.
- What is your first language? I don’t know, but I hope you can tell by my perfect American accent that I’m a total California Valley Girl.
- What do you eat for dinner? Pasta. Pizza. Vegetables. Whatever my parents cook. Usually not Chinese food. Hey, if you’re Italian, does that mean you eat pizza every night? I love pizza! Please tell your relatives I thank them for Costco pizza.
- Is Alexandra your real name, or do you have a Chinese name? Alexandra is my real name. My parents gave me an American name because (surprise!) they have American names too. As do my grandparents. I have an informal Chinese name, but it’s not on my birth certificate and no one ever calls me that except as a joke.
- Do you have a Chinese middle name? Yes, but not the kind you’re thinking. My middle name is my mom’s last name, which is indeed Chinese, but it’s pretty common for children to take on their mother’s maiden name.
- Are you related to ___? You look a lot like Lucy Liu. And you look like Justin Bieber…
33 Degrees 